News


2008 Summary : No appreciable fallout from the financial crash. We have 6 phone lines my colleague and I in the same office answer calls every 5 or 10 minutes.

2009 Summary : No appreciable fallout from the financial crash. Slight drop in call volumes. Closed a general bills account that went accidentally overdrawn by £1 and attracted £250 in charges paid the £1 and lawyer settled the banks hash (not sure what they were on).

2010 Summary : Downturn in sales. Cut back fax lines to 2 and phone lines to 3. Switched telephone, electricity, web hosting to reduce costs.

2011 Summary : Drop off in renewals of software by companies reducing staff. Reduced the fax lines to 1 and phone lines to 2. Cancelled all unnecessary services turned the heating down to coat and bobble hat.

2012 Summary : Worsening drop in enquiries for new software systems, hardware and consumables. Reduced the fax lines to 1 and phone lines to 1.

2013 Summary : Direct and buyer now on afternoons only. More cancellations of renewals for software due to takeovers, companies folding, layoffs.

2014 Summary : Alarmingly few calls from 1,OOO's of customers in 'every' business sector. Have to increase prices a little. Cancellations due to early retirement and general cutting back. Trying to spot trends - one customer supplies funeral equipment : news of 1O,OOO's increases in deaths.

2015 Summary : Virtually no calls all month, people asking for discount on order of £30. Software renewals decimated to point where it may become inviable to offer the service. Golf shops appear to be only people open.

2016 Summary : Was able to secure new business in Switzerland thanks to offering a 50% discount amounting to £1O,OOO after BREXIT shock. Month after month of silence. Vets looking after ponies appear to be a trend in absence of anyone else. Helen Cox assassinated.

2016 Summary : ???